As I meditated, the right side of the body relaxed and there was a release in the tightness. The severe pain in the right side of my brain, which had until now felt like a splitting headache, subsided. Many of the things that made me angry were resolved and my anxiety decreased immensely. I had also developed a habit of continuously forgetting things, but much of that disappeared too. Last, but not least, much of my questions about my identity, my sense of inferiority which I had always wondered about, and my anxiety about the future disappeared.
A lot of my depression disappeared. All this time, I had been really hurt because of the people around me and by others who had taken advantage of me. Much of that pain has disappeared, and I also don’t worry about other people’s gazes or prejudices. In addition, as I lived in a foreign country for many years, I experienced a lot of cultural shocks, struggled and was hurt due to circumstances as a foreigner. But a lot of that has disappeared. As I lived abroad, I stagnated in my identity as a Korean and felt somewhat left behind. And in the meantime, due to unavoidable circumstances, I worked on pretending and packaging myself in a certain way, but that too has greatly disappeared. I also quit smoking cigarettes and drinking.